Extramarital dating and affairs
are on the increase.
However that will surely
surprise very few people?
According to Eye Weekly Magazine
(23 October 2003 edition)
"* Percentage of men who admit
to cheating on their
spouse in New York Times poll (2000): 45
* Percentage of women who admit
to cheating on their
spouse in New York Times poll (2000): 35
Almost half the men and just
over a third of the women!
(I guess the men must hook up
with more than one woman?)
Ah, but that is only those who
have admitted to
extramarital cheating - the real number would be even higher.
So does an affair mean the end
of a marriage?
In many cases, yes it does - the
marriage has broken
down and having an affair will make it even harder
to repair if indeed it is still repairable.
Many in that situation are so
unhappy that they don't
care anyway - they are pretty much ready to move
on to a new life and a new more fulfilling relationship.
However, in the case of a
marriage where, for one
reason or another, you are not getting enough action
in the bedroom, but all your other your needs are
being met, (or there are family or financial reasons
to stay together) then discreetly getting your "rocks off"
outside the marriage could well hold the relationship
together or at least make it tolerable - particularly
if your spouse is agreeable to such an arrangement.
These days many might view it as
nothing more than a
one night stand in a different city by a spouse who is
feeling randy and took advantage of an opportunity
and therefore feel that it is hardly grounds to break
up a marriage.
What would, however, really
bother the spouse back
home is a long term affair, complete with emotional
ties and behaving as a couple.
Seems a one night stand is ok,
but getting emotionally
involved is definitely not?
With or without permission, if
you don't want trouble
or to leave the marriage, then it would be essential to
be very discreet and not have your spouse confronted
by or subjected to any humiliation or embarrassment
because of your "activities".
Many people in this
situation must have reached the
same conclusions because specialised dating sites
exclusively for "married people wanting what they are
not getting enough of at home" have sprung up all over
Typical of these and one of the
longest running is
Who offer: "Confidential
personal ads from local
married men and women seeking new relationships,
dating, romance, casual affairs, no-strings-adult-fun
and discreet encounters of all kinds."
This Site has been Online since
2002 and as at May
2006 received over 1.6 Million visitors.
Not bad for a small Site that
tries to fly under the
Obviously when you are in a
relationship and need to
be very discreet about your "extra-curricular
activities", the Internet is THE preferable means of
finding "activity partners" compared with newspaper
classifieds or hanging out in noisy (and very public)
clubs and bars.
Some experts have estimated that
up to half of the
people in singles sites are actually married.
However singles generally prefer
to date other singles
so married people would no doubt get better results on
a dedicated married dating site where they can hook
up with other marrieds who are in a similar situation
to themselves, as well as singles who actually prefer
(or who don't mind dating) married people - and yes,
there are quite a few single gals who prefer married
men, so I guess maturity and experience must count
All in all, when you consider
that the Percentage of
mammal species that are monogamous is just 3%,
while the Percentage of bird species that are monogamous
is a massive 90% - it looks like
having just one faithful
long-term bedroom partner for
life is for the birds?
But then most people would agree
variety is the
spice of life!
do you think?
Is a one night stand less
serious than a longer term
Is it ok to seek sex outside the
marriage when you
feel neglected and your basic needs are not being met?
Is married dating likely to
continue to increase in the
Would your own relationship
benefit from or be
harmed by a little extramarital activity?
Well I guess the jury is still
out on all those issues
and it all depends on your own personal circumstances
- it's a decision each much make for himself or herself.
least it's nice to know you are not alone and many
others are working through the same issues.
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are unhappily married and want to meet new people