extramarital affairs

Extramarital Affairs - Not Always The Romantic Ideal

Extramarital affairs are usually defined as a relationship between two people, at least one of whom is married to somebody else.  

Discreet relationships like this are not usually regarded as ideal, even by the two parties involved.
They are very different from earlier dating relationships, where the emphasis is on romance and everything seems rosy and happy.

married but lookingThe reality of having an affair can certainly be very different from this scenario. Instead of conducting the relationship openly,
and even enjoying the fact of other people knowing, the couple often have to keep the affair secret, not only from their respective
spouses but usually from other people as well, even their friends. The situation often involves a lot of complicated planning in order
to find times and places to meet, and these locations can be seedy and anything but romantic.

In addition to the discomfort of having to skulk around, and having to make sure they avoid being seen together, there is also the feeling of guilt,
especially for parties who are married, and even more if there are children involved. There may also be tensions between the two parties. If only
one of them is married, the married one may want to keep it secret from the spouse, while the other may be anxious for it to be out in the open.

In the light of all these restrictions, which certainly interfere with romance and put a strain on the relationship, why do people engage in extramarital affairs?
In many cases it is simply a compulsion. The two people have such an overwhelming desire for each other that they simply have to see each other,
and are unable to end the affair even though they know that they should.

However, it is sometimes more complicated than this. One partner in a marriage may feel anger and resentment against the other partner,
either for failing to provide sexual satisfaction, or for some other failure or betrayal, and have made a deliberate decision to look for somebody else.
The popular description of people like that is:  married but looking . Sometimes extramarital affairs happen between two colleagues, one of whom is
subordinate to the other in the workplace. The subordinate one may be desperate to end the relationship but may fear the consequences.

An extramarital affair is not always a time of unalloyed bliss, and often involves many stresses and strains.

However, the dynamics of the relationship often make it hard to find a satisfactory solution.

Whether the affair breaks under the strain, or develops into something more permanent, depends on how strong the relationship really was in the first place. 

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