What exactly is an affair anyway?

I’ve often wondered that, and have even asked friends and colleagues what their opinion is, only to find that they are as confused as I am.
It seems that everybody has a different opinion on what extramarital affairs are. Some believe that it is discreet relationships with someone other than your spouse,
while others think that even a one night stand is having an affair. I’ve even had a few people say that they firmly believe that even if there has been no sexual contact
such as in an online relationship, if your emotions are involved  then that's an affair.

While people's views and opinions on what an extramarital affair actually is may differ, everyone seems to agree that all affairs are secret relationships which would
be taken as a betrayal by the husband, wife or significant other, and that even though physical affairs can be devastating to the spouse, emotional affairs can cause
the same devastation. I have even noticed that some people who are actively engaged in what I consider to be married but looking behaviour do not agree with me
and deny that they are having an affair." It's just a bit of harmless fun online" or "We just swap photos and have a laugh" are two very common reactions to my
question: Are you having an affair?

But how do we know when we've crossed the line from having a laugh and some harmless fun?

Many of us are self-confessed flirts, and we don't see any harm in it. To us it just fun, but some people may feel that married flirting is inappropriate and that it is
the same as having an affair. I suppose the most important thing is not what other people think, but what your spouse thinks. And if you yourself are confused as to
whether or not you’re having an affair, then you may need to ask yourself a few questions – and be honest when you answer yourself.

•             Would your partner consider your flirting/friendship/online “fun” a betrayal?

•             Are you having, or do you wish you were having, sex with the person?

•             Does the thought of your partner finding out worry you or make you feel uncomfortable?

•             Is inappropriate talk included in your conversations?

•             Do you keep photo swaps or conversations secret from your partner?

•             Do you feel guilty?

•             Are your feelings for the other person becoming stronger?

Would you like to try some married flirting or perhaps even arrange a full-on extramarital affair?

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CAUTION: not every person is suitable for having an affair and extramarital affairs are not a substitute for either fixing a marriage (or finishing a marriage if it is beyond repair),
because not all affairs have a positive impact on a relationship and some can even be harmful. So always think about other people and if you decide to go ahead and
have an affair make sure to use discretion and discernment and always choose your partner wisely.