Extramarital dating and
affairs are on the increase.
It's official! Extramarital
dating and affairs are on the increase.
However that will surely surprise
very few people?
According to Eye Weekly Magazine (23
October 2003 edition)
"* Percentage of men who admit to
cheating on their spouse in New York Times poll (2000): 45
* Percentage of women who admit to
cheating on their spouse in New York Times poll (2000): 35
Almost half the men and just over a
third of the women!
(I guess the men must hook up with
more than one woman?)
Ah, but that is only those who have
admitted to extramarital cheating -
the real number would be even higher.
So does an affair mean the end of
In many cases, yes it does - the
marriage has broken down and having an affair will make it
even harder to repair if indeed it is still repairable.
Many in that situation are so unhappy
that they don't care anyway -
they are pretty much ready to move on to a new life and a new more
However, in the case of a marriage
where, for one reason or another, you are not getting
enough "action" in the bedroom, but all your other your needs are being
(or there are family or financial reasons to stay together) then
discreetly getting your "rocks off"
outside the marriage could well hold the relationship together or at
least make it tolerable - particularly
if your spouse is agreeable to such an arrangement.
These days many might view it as
nothing more than a one night stand in a different city by a spouse
who was feeling randy and took advantage of an "opportunity" and
therefore feel that it is hardly
grounds to break up a marriage over.
What would, however, really bother
the spouse back home is a long term affair, complete with emotional
ties and behaving as a couple.
Seems a one night stand is ok, but
getting emotionally involved is definitely not?
With or without permission, if you
don't want trouble or to leave the marriage, then it would be
essential to be very discreet and not have your spouse confronted by or
subjected to any humiliation
or embarrassment because of your "activities".
Many people in this situation
must have reached the same conclusions because specialised dating
sites exclusively for "married people wanting what they are not getting
enough of at home" have sprung
up all over the Internet.
Typical of these and one of the
longest running is "Married-Woman-Personals.com"
"Confidential personal ads from local married men and women seeking
dating, romance, casual affairs, no-strings-adult-fun and
discreet encounters of all kinds."
This Site has been Online since 2002
and as at May 2006 received over 1.6 Million visitors.
Not bad for a small Site that tries
to fly under the radar!
Obviously when you are in a
relationship and need to be very discreet about your "extra-curricular
activities", the Internet is THE preferable means of finding
"activity partners" compared with newspaper
classifieds or hanging out in noisy (and very public) clubs and
Some experts have estimated that
up to half of the people in singles sites are actually married.
However singles generally prefer to
date other singles so married people would no doubt get better
results on a dedicated married dating site where they can hook up with
other marrieds who are in
a similar situation to themselves, as well as singles who actually
prefer (or who don't mind dating)
married people - and yes, there are quite a few single gals who prefer
married men, so I guess
maturity and experience must count for something!
All in all, when you consider that
the Percentage of mammal species that are monogamous is just 3%,
while the Percentage of bird species that are monogamous is a massive
90% - it looks like having
just one faithful long-term bedroom partner for life is for
But then most people would agree
variety is the spice of life!
What do you think?
Is a one night stand less serious
than a longer term relationship?
Is it ok to seek sex outside the
marriage when you feel neglected and your basic needs are not being met?
Is married dating likely to continue
to increase in the foreseeable future?
Would your own relationship benefit
from or be harmed by a little extramarital activity?
Well I guess the jury is still out on
all those issues and it all depends on your own personal circumstances
- it's a decision each much make for himself or herself.
At least it's nice to know you are not alone and many others are
working through the same issues.
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not every person is suitable for having an affair and extramarital affairs are
not a substitute for either fixing a marriage (or finishing a marriage if it is
beyond repair),because not all affairs have a positive impact on a relationship
and some can even be harmful. So always think about other people and if you
decide to go ahead and have an affair make sure to use discretion and
discernment and always choose your partner wisely