Illicit Encounters

Why People Have Illicit Affairs

At first glance the reason for people to have an illicit affair may seem simple. They no longer love their partner and so they start to look for it elsewhere.

But the actual reasons for illicit encounters are varied and far more complex.

 

Firstly one reason that people cheat on their partners is because of a lack of self esteem. If they feel that there partner no longer finds them attractive or pays them enough attention it may lower their self esteem.
In order to gain a boost to their self esteem they will find some one who does seem to find them attractive and shows them the attention they desire.
In a marriage it is easy to start to take the other person for granted. You see the other person every day and it is difficult to keep the candle of sexual attraction alight.
A person who already suffers from low self esteem may try and compensate for this by having an illicit affair. It is not that they don’t love their current partner.
They can easily lover their husband or wife much more than the person they have an affair with. It is simply that they need more attention and love.

 

Another cause for an illicit affair and one much drama and tragedy found in film and plays is based is the desire for revenge.
Perhaps one person has already cheated on the other person in the past. Or perhaps the husband is too devoted to his work.
Whatever the reason is, an illicit affair can often be started as a means to gain revenge on the other person.

 

Some people engage in illicitencounters not for any sexual reasons but rather just because they are desperate for love. All people desire to be loved and to be loving.
If they feel that this is missing in their marriage then they will start to look for it elsewhere. It is important to show your partner that you do in fact love them.
And allow them to be loving towards you too. This can help prevent what is otherwise good marriage falling apart due to one partner feeling unloved.

 

Men in particular often have an illicit affair as a way of trophy hunting. A successful male will have a certain image of himself.
He may consider it natural and right that he should be allowed to have a mistress. Certain cultures as well reinforce this image.
In these cultures a masculine man should be a seducer of woman. Even if the man still loves his wife, and in most cases he does. He will view her as a mother figure.
The ability to seduce a younger or more attractive woman will reconfirm his self image as a success.

 

The reasons for having an illicit affair are complex. It should not be assumed that just because your partner has had an illicit affair that they no longer love you.
An illicit affair at some point in a marriage is very common. If you can understand why they had an affair it maybe possible to save the marriage.